Reality, Reflection, Recall

(Some names have been changed for the anonymity of the individuals involved.)

Told Dick we shouldn’t see each other sexually anymore. I love him and I don’t know why. He’s an idiot and an asshole and amazing all at the same time. Is he really that amazing though? All I can say is that the man makes me wet. If only we spoke the same language of love and life. There is a very strong attraction between us. Something is missing there. He disconnects and then I go into effort trying figure it out. I’m in way too much effort that yields very little results. Or maybe I’m in a false sense of effort that is actually creating more distance because I’m not being direct with my communication.

Whenever Dick and I end something we are actually beginning all over again. Thursday, April 25th, 2013 he told me that he was only wanted to see his ex romantically. I was shocked because I thought we were getting together because he was going to tell me he wanted us to exclusive. I stared at him and kept saying, “Really?” For some reason decided to keep  hanging out with him and we had a really great time. He told me that we have a special soul/spiritual connection and that he loves me. Still couldn’t believe he was just letting me go, just like that. We held our foreheads together, kissed, and hugged for a really long time.

Hopped on my bike and cried all the way to Fran’s house. There she had tequila and a kimono waiting for me. We spoke on the phone to her lover whom she refers to as “King of the underworld.” Dance party in the living room followed. Then we accidentally hooked up. We both were pretty sauced and it didn’t really do much for either of us. Woke up the next day and had breakfast at Gaslight Coffee. People are too cool there. Great duck eggs.

Then I went to work at the yoga studio. There I told Meghan the the story of being “let go” by this guy who wanted to get back together with his ex. After we closed the studio I gave Meghan a goodbye “creative healing” before she moved to Denver. It was awesome. Then brown Kenny texted saying “dancing soul summit.” Dancing always makes me feel better. Dance it all off.

Got to Double Door. Bumped into the Good Dresser whom I met at Rodan. Brown Kenny pulled me to the dance floor. There we met up with dude friends and got a dance circle going. Then the band came on. This pretty Amy Whinehouse type singer came on. She was really good, but not really dancing good. There is a difference. There are artists who can sing and you just watch them and that’s the experience, and then there are artists who make you move without even thinking twice about it. I was in a dancing mood, not observing mood. All and all the live band was good. Kenny and I went outside to smoke cigarettes, drink whiskey, and howl at the full moon in Scorpio, because we both just happen to be Scorpios.

After Double Door we went to Flat Iron. There I saw a hot dude and he saw me. We walked towards each other. I said, “We are the best looking people here, let’s do it.” Kenny gave his nod of approval only because this guy was wearing a Michael Jackson biker jacket. From there Jacket guy and I got on my Schwinn cruiser and rode back to my place.

Woke up the next morning and thanked God because this guy really was hott and that he actually lives in Detroit and only in town for the weekend. I had to work all day at the yoga studio only to come home to pass out. Hung out with Jacket dude the following evening before he left town.

The Good Dresser, wanted to get dinner on Monday night. Dressed in a cute little black skirt, black shirt, black panties, I was looking good, maybe a little too good. We ate at a  French restaurant. Hadn’t actually spoken with this guy since meeting him at Rodan and he buying me champagne within a minute of me entering the establishment. Talks a lot. Kept telling me that he was talking a lot and that we could talk about me. Whenever I started talking, he would chime in taking over the conversation again. I decided to keep hanging out because this guy does dress well, I had nothing better to do and I also wanted to get Dick out of my head and heart. Ended up crashing at his place where things got a little, ya know, crazy. Things I wanted to do with Dick, but didn’t get the chance, I did to this guy, lucky fool. Put on some music, did the strip tease, lap dance, broke one of my favorite necklaces...

Woke up the next day 4/30/2013. Fran called and wanted to get lunch. We agreed upon Handlebar. Erin also called and wanted me to come over to her place. I figured I could get lunch with Fran then swing by Erin’s afterwards. Before leaving the Good Dresser's place, I had a funny feeling about meeting for lunch at Handlebar. Something was telling me to cancel, but I ignored the feeling, hopped on my bike and went to town.

Riding west on North Avenue, I came up to Oakley S

treet, less than 100 meters from Handlebar.

And that’s when I got hit by a big souped up GMC Yukon truck at 30mph.

To be continued...