The Cat Spot

Change is here Slow before tow Ephemera Contentive Transendence  Remembering the good ones End is here Slowly Slowly Grace

Last night I met Ana T. Forrest , creator of Forrest Yoga . She spoke about stalking fear, breathing through it, and conquering the physical and emotional responses to fear that cause us to retreat. Asked her to sign my "magic" notebook and about channeling sexual energy into creative energy. Wonderful woman. - At this point in my life I'm terrified to be sexually intimate with a man. I've allowed my body to be invalidated and used by guys who never appreciated my life force as a woman and a creator.  I was made to feel guilty when not in the mood. Manipulated in to having sex when I really didn't want to, but did it anyway because I didn't want to lose the person. Contracted an STD from a partner I thought was being monogamous and much worse.   Being sexually intimate with a person who can't see you and doesn't want to see you is a rape of the spirit and a dishonor to the female force. These guys are cowards. I've been on this journey

“The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.” ―   Ayn Rand As I sat in my 1996 Odyssey mini van sobbing, I realized my whole life I've been surrounded by people stopping me. One might say I let them stop me, which is probably true to an extent but hear me out. I use to think this quote was so amazing and really gave it power. I've come to understand that it's all backwards. If I focus attention on people who are going to stop me, what is that really doing? What if I focus my intention on attracting people who will let me. For example: people who let me be myself verses people who try to stop me from being myself. Doesn't that make more sense? I believe the quote should say this: "The question isn't who is going to stop me; it's who is going to let me." It's all about where one puts her attention and focus. Honestly I'm sick and tired of crapy friends, bosses that are threatened by me and

 i went into lululemon for the first time ever today. this girl in the yoga teacher training works there and she wears great pants all the time. (my pants are not really fitting me anymore. strange. i wore pants that i haven't worn in over year since the first week of purchase, and pants i keep around in the hopes of fitting into them someday... someday has come) my body wants to be reclothed so bad. [Last night cousin ella gave me one of our deceased auntie's cashmere sweaters. it's this perfect pink sweater. i can't wait to wear it :) i've been wanting a pair of basic black pumps to wear for work and casual and Last week roommate piya found a bag by the train station with hardly used shoes. she said the bag sat there for about 4 hours. she kept the jimmy choos and gave the aldo's to me (which was exactly what i wanted at the time ] anyway back at the pants. i really want pants that fit me proper. (i want to have more pride in my appearance and estab