Kathryn @ Katherine (so serious)

While looking up things to do in New Mexico I discovered that there is a lake located in the Sangre de Cristo Range named Lake Katherine. I thought this would be the perfect place to hike to and spend the night. It would be Kathryn @ Katherine and I would have an epiphany while meditating on concepts of love, life, and being humble. (I was humbled alright)

Samantha Monroe-Fellers is another wonderful friend in my life who allowed me to stay with her beautiful family in Santa Fe.

(Her hubby Alex was at work)

When telling her of my plan to hike to Lake Katherine (about a 14 miles round trip) and "find" myself, she sweetly gave me a look of "you have no idea what you are doing."

"Well, that sounds great and all, but where are you going to sleep?" -Samantha

"I'll just sleep where ever." -Me

"Are you going to have a fire?" -Samantha

"No, I'll just sleep on the ground and take it." -Me

"You know there are wild animals such as bears and mountain lions that live there. You should really bring some bear mace with you."

"It's cool. Some DJ guy gave me dog mace back in Albuquerque after one of his shows. He didn't want it. I knew there was a reason he came into my life." -Me

"I'm sure that works for dogs, but you may want to consider getting bear maze." -Samantha

"Yeah, we will see..." -Me (I never bought any bear maze)

I embarked on my journey on August 6th, which also happened to be my mother's birthday. I wanted to do something liberating and fulfilling to honor her.

Motivated, excited, hydrated, ready...set...hike! For the first 45 minutes or so I walked in a loop and was wondering why I hadn't ascended. Ending up where I started, I stared at the large map before the trail for a bit longer (it was the only map). Hopefully the people in the parking lot waiting for the rest of their party didn't recognize me. Total nerd. Anyway I decided to go in the other direction. Finally, on the right track. I reached a point where the trail was not marked well in regards to signs and also the physical trail. I figured I would eventually bump into Lake Katherine (one doesn't bump into the highest lake in New Mexico) and continued down what seemed to be the path. According to a young woman I met at Java Joes in Santa Fe, the hike to Lake Katherine took her a little over four hours. It had been over four hours, and I ended up on a mountain peak.

I'm thinking I have to be close. Looking down I notice a lake.

In my mind, part of me really wanted it to be Katherine so I could set up for my epiphany, and the other part would be super disappointed if it was because it wasn't that impressive. Turns out it wasn't, which meant that I had taken a wrong turn.

I meditated on this rock for a little bit, mulling over what the hell I was going to do.

Do I go back the way I came? Do I even remember how I got here and that might not be an option? Do I continue on the hunt to find Lake Katherine? Where the hell is Lake Katherine? How could I possibly expect to find it when I don't even know where I am?

After eating my third granola bar, I decided I had to go forth and find a flat place to sleep before the sun set. I knew the general direction that I was suppose to head in. I really didn't want to go back the way I came because I thought that would be lame and that I had a better idea. In the distance I saw what I believed to be the mountains I should have been on.

At first I headed in the direction of the other mountains. I hadn't seen an actual hiking path in hours and finally found one. I decided that the hiking path was going to take too long so I had the brilliant idea to slide down. My legs and feet needed a break and it was mossy so my butt could handle it. Failed to take into account the rocks that waited for me at the bottom. Almost cried about three times: split my pants, and scraped the crap out of my left hand, and couldn't stand the thought of eating one more granola bar.

After my pity party I knew I put myself in this position and I'm the only one that could get me out. I hadn't seen any people since the first few miles of the hike and that was hours before. Let's do this! I sucked it up and made it to a flat area, where I should have stopped for the night. The sun was just starting to set. Thinking I could get another good hour of hiking in and continued onward. As I reached a water fall/stream I realized that darkness would be upon me in less than 20 minutes. There was no way I could sleep on rocks so I kept going forward and climbed down the waterfall (there was no other way to get down). The defeat was short lived because I realized I had yet another rocky stream to climb down. I really didn't have a choice because there was no way I could sleep on rocks, so I went forward. At the bottom there was a clearing. I was so relieved to be walking on semi-flat terrain.

It was dark, and for some strange reason I wasn't scared. My eyes adjusted and continued on in search for my rest spot. As I turned left I noticed a real trail, the one I probably should have been on the whole time. It had been ages since the last time I saw a set trail. The thought of not having to think too much, just follow, took some of the pressure off and put me at ease. I knew I would eventually end up where I needed to be.

Exhausted, defeated, amazed, confused, and certain, I stopped along the side of the trail to rest. No sleeping bag, no tent, no fire, just the cold ground and the sound of the wind whistling through the majestic empire of fir trees and their tips providing an outlined screen of shooting stars and another world hard to conceive.

I laid there for a while, almost dozing off until a dog came up to sniff me and it's owner's LED light cascaded over my curled up body. Really? I hadn't seen anyone the whole time and now they decide to come out and play. I played dead and waited for the dog to leave. I scooted a little further back (I wasn't that close to begin with). They left. I fantasized about my mini van and all the luxury items I had in there such as pillows, blankets, and my favorite pair of heels, we all need a little sexy.

Sleep began to creep upon me. I'm really cold. Curling up into a ball helped a little until a troop of boy scouts came around and happened to point their headlights in my direction as I was in curling-ball mode. They stared, I stared back, no one said anything, I raised my left eyebrow which told them to fuck off. They did. Who was I kidding? There was no way I was actually going to get any sleep and hiking was my only option.

For the remainder of the journey I referred to myself as "Ultimate Night Hiker: Formerly Known as Cat Spot: (aka: Kathryn/Katy). While digging in my backpack for something other than a granola bar, I forgot I put my little reading light in there (I found an orange to eat by the way). This was a joyous moment because I had been hiking in the darkness and would make the journey much easier. Turns out I found it just in time because I lost the trail, again, and came across yet another waterfall/stream (I apologize for my ignorance in what these are called). At this point nothing phased me. Before I knew it I hit another trail. This one felt right and I actually stayed on it. Luckily this trail brought me back to the place that I had taken my wrong turn. Finally I knew where I was. My mini van was less than an hour away!

Upon gimping to the van, the night sky was beyond impressive and I decided to spend the night on top of the mini van, falling asleep under the stars. Eventually got really cold and slept the remainder of the early morning in the van.

6:30am rolled around and I decided to head back to Samantha's house. I knew they would be up because she has two little ones. Got there just in time for breakfast.

"So how was it?" -Samantha

"I did not plan that one out very well." -Me

She smiled, "I was thinking about you last night trying to imagine what you could possibly be doing. I'm glad you are still alive." -Samantha

"Yeah..." -Me

WHAT I LEARNED:

1. Make sure you know where you are going-bring a map

2. You can get sick of granola bars

3. Bring gloves if you intend to climb or slide down mountain sides

4. If there are big rocks on what looks to potentially be a path, that means it isn't a path and those rocks are trying to block people from entering (I thought they were just decoration or suppose to make the path more fun and challenging, which is probably how I got so lost).

5. Layers

6. There is more, but I'll figure it out later.

I never found Lake Katherine, and I'm ok with that. Next time...