The Cat Spot

"I love you. I need to unplug from you guys for a while." Silence. These words, thoughts, and emotions had been running through my head since just before getting hit by a truck. The events and actions that followed my accident only made it that easy to walk away.  I don't have it in me anymore to show up to an event just to take a picture to make it seem as if we are all happy and actually know each other. The typecast, one dimensional character you have me so comfortably pegged as has officially been killed off. I refuse to live in a complacent sleep. "I'm not saying this to be hurtful. I'm saying this to be honest." Love you. Need to unplug.

As the GMC Yukon truck hit the left side of my body, my spirit jumped out to the sidewalk to observe. Watching my body hit the ground, laying there in the cute little black outfit from the night before, I thought, "You look sexy... wait a minute, you just started getting sexy...get back in that sexy body!" Spirit jumped back in the body and popped up, got on my bike and said, "I'm going home." Then lightly passed out into a stranger's arms. Coming back to consciousness I was barraged with questions. A lady held my head while a man kept me engaged in consciousness: Man: Do you know your name? Me: Yes Man: What is it? Me: (laying in middle of North Avenue) Is my face all fucked up? Lady: Surprisingly no. Your chin is bleeding (I attempt to lift my arm to touch it). No (pats my arm away). What's your name sweetie? Me: Kathryn McMuffin Man: (Finds my ID and says to the lady) Last name is McPherson. Do you know where you are? Me: North and lunch.....

(Some names have been changed for the anonymity of the individuals involved.) Told Dick we shouldn’t see each other sexually anymore. I love him and I don’t know why. He’s an idiot and an asshole and amazing all at the same time. Is he really that amazing though? All I can say is that the man makes me wet. If only we spoke the same language of love and life. There is a very strong attraction between us. Something is missing there. He disconnects and then I go into effort trying figure it out. I’m in way too much effort that yields very little results. Or maybe I’m in a false sense of effort that is actually creating more distance because I’m not being direct with my communication. Whenever Dick and I end something we are actually beginning all over again. Thursday, April 25th, 2013 he told me that he was only wanted to see his ex romantically. I was shocked because I thought we were getting together because he was going to tell me he wanted us to exclusive. I stared at him an...

(Meant to get this one out before I got hit by a truck at 30mph on my bike) When a guy tells you that his best friend is his ex and that she will always be in his life (no kids together)...stop seeing this guy. He is telling you everything you need to know. This guy is not ready for a new relationship and clings on to the past.  There is nothing wrong with being on good terms with an ex. When the ex still plays such dominant/permanent role in his life (RED FLAG) it really looks bad on the guy. If she became a lesbian it's fine. Should you choose to keep seeing him it will only be a matter of weeks or even days before they get back together. You are the disposable one in the situation. So do yourself a favor and dispose yourself from the situation. Sure he made you laugh, he was sweet, you had a good time and he will want to remain "friends." In reality his sweetness is based in selfishness. Keep in mind this dude most likely collects ex's and goes back in forth ...

Sometimes you just have to jump off and watch your life crash to shore.  Let go. Loose control, in the best possible way.  The shore will be there to support the fall.  After the crash, the damage can be assessed along with discovering bits and pieces hidden from the lies put forth to distract from truth and desire keeping the ones we love safe and protected from our natural states of being Sometimes we are the only ones standing in our way. Abandon ship, see what magic comes to play.

Today 4:10pm Ryn McPherson hey how was your bday? 4:38pm Ian Lizzadro McPherson it was okay, I didn't do anything for it. you know me and my birthday 4:41pm Ryn McPherson it's ok to treat yourself. it's nice to do something like eat a good meal or buy something you've been wanting. shit mom would want you to celebrate a little. at least show the woman who brought you into this world some respect by honoring yourself on your birthday 4:42pm Ian Lizzadro McPherson yeah, its really because she made such a big deal of it is why I don't really like it I did buy myself a beer to celebrate 4:55pm Ryn McPherson i'm not saying you have to go all out. but it is a day worth commemorating and sharing it with others. it doesn't have to be lonely, depressing, and deprecating. maybe you should look at the real reason wh...