The Cat Spot

It’s strange being in Albuquerque now. So much has happened since my life here. I feel comfortable for the first time in years. I’ve finally owned my past. While my confidence is there, many emotions have been stirring. I believe it’s because I’m finally in a place where I’m strong enough to fully process and learn. It’s strange. Ever since I’ve gotten to Albuquerque, in the evening around the same time (6:00pm): Feelings of immense sadness My heart aches On the verge of tears but no release Desire for something more but unaware of what that is... It’s love, validation, and the need to be wanted by someone Is it strange that I’ve never made love? I think so...but I can explain. It all started when I was a young little thang I did what I was told and of course I complained, but for the most part I was pretty tame My mama use to tell me the ways of the world and how I had to work twice as hard because I’m a girl Don’t be too pretty, but always be smart, and that’s how you c...

While looking up things to do in New Mexico I discovered that there is a lake located in the Sangre de Cristo Range named Lake Katherine. I thought this would be the perfect place to hike to and spend the night. It would be Kathryn @ Katherine and I would have an epiphany while meditating on concepts of love, life, and being humble. (I was humbled alright) Samantha Monroe-Fellers is another wonderful friend in my life who allowed me to stay with her beautiful family in Santa Fe. (Her hubby Alex was at work) When telling her of my plan to hike to Lake Katherine (about a 14 miles round trip) and "find" myself, she sweetly gave me a look of "you have no idea what you are doing." "Well, that sounds great and all, but where are you going to sleep?" -Samantha "I'll just sleep where ever." -Me "Are you going to have a fire?" -Samantha "No, I'll just sleep on the ground and take it." -Me "You know there are wil...

After being in Austin for a few weeks, my creative energy pulled me to New Mexico. When New Mexico calls, I come. I met some fantastic people in Austin, but my work there was done, and I wanted to continue on my odyssey in my Odyssey. My amazing friend Corrie welcomed me to Albuquerque and allowed me to invade her space for the past weeks. We have known each other for an entire decade. Even though we haven't lived in the same area since we were sophomores in high school, we always had this ability to connect, no matter how much time had passed, or where we lived. Friends for life. At night we read from Women Who Run With The Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, and discuss the different fables and how we apply them our lives. It's kind of our bible. My dad gave me the book after I graduated, along with a GPS. The man knows me better than I ever gave him credit for. New Mexico has brought out a part of me that I haven't been able to get in touch with for a long time. I ha...